Building a Beautiful Body ?

Sometime ago, I went to my local pharmacy to pick up a repeat prescription. As I was leaving, I walked past two old ladies sat chatting, whilst waiting for their prescriptions. Presumably for their usual weekly bags full of life prolonging NHS drugs. The seats they occupied were located just next to the exit door, so I couldn’t help overhearing a snippet of their conversation as I left. But I only caught 2 words: “Diabolical hemorrhoids!” In a nano-second, I was outside in the hustle and bustle of the street scene, but with some very disturbing images now being projected in my minds-eye.

After many months of disturbed sleep with recurring nightmarish visions, I’ve finally wrestled some good from an episode that could have left deep mental scars – by churning out a little poem (I know, so unlike me…). Actually the original poem is lost, as it came to me when I was in that half-asleep state just before my alarm clock sounded. This is a fairly regular occurence for me and I can never remember the entire poem once I’m fully conscious. This is a real shame, in this instance,  as it was perfect and many verses longer than the one below. Which I struggled to piece together from the fragments that remained in my conscious brain. C’est la vie…

BBuilder2Building a Beautiful Body

I wanted a buff body, to look good in my “snuggs”.
But ignored advice doled out by fitness droids.
Like: never use performance enhancing drugs
or be tempted to use Anabolic Steroids.
After 6 months, I just look like a thug wearing a rug…
…with a Nasty Squint and Diabolic Hemorrhoids

I think I’m getting the hang of my new graphics tablet/software, so I reckon this illustration is slightly better than previous attempts. I hope you agree. In case you were wondering, the head-shot is me wearing the hunter’s hat that my daughter bought me for Xmas. That photo was also the inspiration to include the line about the squint, which wasn’t in my original semi-sleep, truly epic, poetic masterpiece.

By the way, my wife says that green doesn’t suit me. So I guess I’ll have to ditch my favourite mankini, or maybe just not wear it when she’s around 🙂


About Coach D

Running Coach and experienced distance runner.
This entry was posted in Comic Verse and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Building a Beautiful Body ?

  1. healthiestbeauty says:

    Reblogged this on The healthiest beauty.

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