Closing Time by Max Scratchmann




It’s about time I showcased one of the poems that has been submitted to TAPP by the multi-talented performance poet, writer, illustrator (and occasional reader of this here blog) Max Scratchmann. So here it is :





 Closing Time

They announced it on the Tannoy, they said, “You’ve been a toff,
but your M&S is closing now, so could you, please, sod off!”
I said, “Now just a second”, they answered quick, “Oh yes?”
I said, “Why am I being ejected if this is my M&S?”

They looked at me quite strangely, said, “We’re family,
but we’ve all been here since morning, and we’d like to have our tea.”
But I stuck rigidly to principle, I said, “This is my store,
so I’m staying to do my shopping, for an hour, maybe more…

…and while you’re at it, chappies, my pocket contains nil,
so as it is my M&S, I’ll have a tenner from the till.”
Their cheery smiles had vanished, they said, “It’s come to this.
There’s always just one wise-ass, who has to take the piss.”

And they called two burley bouncers, said, “Chuck the bugger out!”
And were deaf to all the protests, I did most vainly shout.
So when a shop does tell you, that it’s yours, just yours, alone,
Don’t trust their smiling faces or homely, friendly tone.

Their bonhomie is hollow, their sincerity is crass,
And if, like me, you test it, you’ll end up on your ass.

Max Scratchmann

If you liked this poem, you can read more of Max’s writing by clicking on this link to his blogsite, and you can read more about Max and the books he’s written/illustrated by visiting Max’s Author Page on Amazon.

Next month Max will be performing in Edinburgh with Alec Beattie (another poet with the same hairstyle as me). So, if you’re in the area, why not pop along – it’s free…




About Coach D

Running Coach and experienced distance runner.
This entry was posted in Comic Verse, Funny Poetry, humor, humour, Poetry, Readers Writes and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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