Doodlebug – Bonjour Bitch

My daughter (we celebrated her birthday yesterday) is very much a girly-all-things-pink-&-fluffy girl, with a fashion sense that sometimes borders on the OCD for having to wear clothes with a certain little white cartoon KITTY emblazoned on them (you know the one I mean, they certainly don’t need me advertising for them). As I’m a jaded-synical-grumpy-arse dad, this sometimes causes a distinct nauseating feeling in my gut. It also has a tendency to trigger the darker recesses of my brain to conjure up images that can counter-balance the sickly sweet nonsense invading my eyeballs (by that, I mean the KITTY stuff – not my daughter). Which, to cut an elongated story ever so slightly shorter is where this doodle comes from.

BonjourBitch2If my techno-wizardry has worked, then this post will be published whilst I’m lounging on a beach in the Med’. Probably (hopefully) with a cold beer in one hand and my kindle in the other. However, if my attempts at post-scheduling have failed, then you won’t be reading these words, as I will have changed or deleted the outtro. Also, just in case you’re a burglar scouring the internet for references to people being away from their homes (good luck with that – seems like more hard-work than a tea-leaf could hack anyway) – be warned, I’ve got a very viscous goldfish, who’s been trained to attack and devour intruders. Plus my burglar alarm sends out an Old-Bat Signal. So that my aged in-laws will be prompted to act and they will descend on the house immediately (or at least as soon as they’ve located their bus-passes). They will then proceed to embarrass you, by asking probing questions like – “Does your mother know what you do for a living?” until you can take no more and have to hand yourself in to the nearest police station.

You have been warned…

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About Dai Verse

Poet/muso/sketch-doodler/marathon-runner, founder of The Amorphous Poetry Project and Tap Publishing UK http://tappublishing.uk/blog/
This entry was posted in Doodlebug, humor, humour, parody and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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